Cup Final Preview: Picking A Loser. I Need To Be Different.

I'm not insane. I promise.

Today’s music choice is If You Wanna by The Vaccines.

Here we are….. the opening of the Stanley Cup Final between the Vancouver Canucks and the Boston Bruins. Two teams that quite honestly I could give a rat’s arse about.  People are asking me, who do I want to win….who am I rooting for….am I going to watch….do I think it’s a great matchup.  Blah, blah, blah……

I’ve decided to take a different approach.  I’m not cheering for either team to win, so I’m going to decide on which team I want to lose.  For me it just seems easier that way.  You may not understand how that’s going to work and I’ll be honest, neither do I.  Will I cheer for a goal against when the team I’m rooting for to lose gets scored on?  Will I complain about a penalty that wasn’t called against the team I want to lose?  What happens when the team I want to lose makes an ill advised head shot against the other team.  Will I wish for a suspension?  I can see it now….. hey ref…..that was tripping…give the other team a power play.

I don’t really know.  All I know is there’s enough disdain in my blood to want either one of these teams not to win, but I have to choose one team that I want to lose more than the other.  Some might think, well that’s a lousy way to enjoy the Stanley Cup Final.  Listen, with the Chicago Blackhawks having been eliminated by Vancouver (barely), and the Florida Panthers not even close, there really isn’t anything for me to enjoy here.  This is almost as bad as me watching Detroit and Pittsburgh a few years back.  At that time I watched game one and the final period of the last game.  I didn’t hang around for the hand shake and the celebration.  My intensity and passion wouldn’t let me.

The main issue here is that there are a number of players in this final that I don’t want to see winning a Cup.  On Vancouver you have drama queen Ryan Kesler.  If Ryan wasn’t such an actress actor I could like him as a player. Then there are the twins sisters Henrietta and Daniella Sedins.  Let’s not leave out Alex Burrows.  A punk.  No other way to describe him.  And of course they have about six ex- Florida Panthers on the roster.  I don’t mind Chris Higgins….Keith Ballard was a bit of a goof with his baseball swing incident to the head of Tomas Vokoun.  But then you have Tanner Glass, Victor Oreskovich, Mikael Samuelsson and of course the most over rated goalie in the universe Roberto Luongo. Finally the worst villan on the team is Raffi Torres.  I hope someone on Boston nails this jerk into the 9th row of the lower bowl.

The Boston Bruins on the other hand pose other issues for me.  First and foremost I like Tim Thomas. I think he’s had a great season and did his best to shut up the critics and would be my choice to win this year’s Vezina Trophy.  Then there’s Johnny Boychuk. I mean how can you not like that name?  They have Dr. Marc Recchi, the ageless wonder too.  But that’s about where the love ends.  Ex-Panthers Dennis Seidenberg and Gregory Campbell find themselves in a Stanley Cup final after being traded from the Panthers.  Hard to believe that Gregory Campbell is playing this late in the season.  Lastly Boston has Mr. Lazy Ass himself, as we knew him here in South Florida, Nathan Horton.  Horton was traded because Panthers’ General Manager Dale Tallon asked everyone on the team if they wanted to be here for the new regime.  Horton said no, and Tallon granted him his wish, packing Nate and his bad habits, and never reached potential to Beantown.  Good riddance  you idiot.  I know that it’s tough losing for all these years, but who the hell are you to say that you wanted out?  You should be kissing the fricking earth you walk on for the position you find yourself in today.  I mean seriously.  How god damn lucky do you feel.  You best appreciate this.  You don’t know when you’ll ever get back.  Jerk…

The actual matchup of this series also features the Green Men versus the Bear. Are you sick and tired of the Green Men? Is it possible to cheer for a Bear?  The Bear is more “manly” though, while the Green Men seem to be more delicate with their dance like behavior, and their slimy moves.  As for the teams themselves, both offer games that can be similar at times.  Balanced scoring from three lines when everything is clicking. A fourth line that can agitate with your typical grit and pugnacity.  Defensive units that while aren’t spectacular, can play a shut down style.  Goaltending?  Well for some reason this final features goaltenders from each team that are Vezina Trophy finalists.  Sigh.

Coaching?  I don’t really care for either one.  When I look at Alain Vigneault of the Canucks behind the bench I get this weird feeling that while he has a suit jacket on, he’s  not wearing pants.  He’s wearing speedo’s.  Ack!  As for Boston Coach Claude Julien, he reminds me of  bowling ball.  One chews gum like it’s the last piece he’ll ever have, while if the other smiled, his bald head would start to crack.  Their doesn’t seem to be too much wit in this one either.  Vigneault has been out coached many times.  He loses control of his team and they start taking some really dumb penalties.  Julien’s team has had a problem getting themselves motivated early in games.  Horton would know about that.  They also have blown many leads as well as the one ill that haunts them all the time.  The infamous too many men on the ice penalty.  Going back to the days of when Don Cherry was coaching, to last year.  If you haven’t figured out the timing of line changes by now, when will you?

This is truly going to be a miserable series for me, and I wonder how I’m going to get through it.  As a passionate fan of this sport I have a real problem here.  While I don’t want the season to end, for many reasons it already has.  A few weeks ago.  Even though there’s still games to play, I’ve been wishing this was October for days.  Sadly though, that is not the case, and I must now make a decision for you my four readers.

The team that I want to win lose the Stanley Cup Final is…… The Vancouver Canucks. The sooner the better.  I will not care if I watch the handshake, one of the best traditions in sports.  I have no desire to watch any type of celebration either after this is done.  The best thing about this series ending whenever it does?  We will be that much closer to the start of next season.

Thanks for reading.   Daily Pucking Grind will return tomorrow….maybe.  We welcome your comments and opinions.

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