Never Travel To A Non NHL City During The Playoffs


This is good advice, so please take it.  And before I get into it, just know that most of this has really nothing to with hockey, so I won’t be too upset if both of my readers decide not to finish this.

This past week from Monday through Thursday I had to go to a sales seminar in Baltimore.  Good god why didn’t the corporate guys take a look at this and figure out that this conference should have been scheduled later, or as things unfolded……never.  Just kidding.  The conference was fine, but.  Read on.

I have nothing against the city of Baltimore.  The Inner Harbour is great, the Orioles who happen to be my favourite baseball team, play there, although not this week (yea that was smart planning).  The weather was perfect.  When I was able to see any of it.  But try to find a hockey game on TV besides in the hotel bar?  Forget it.  Almost.

Here’s a list of Seinfeld type episodes that I had to deal with.

Monday night, I watched part of the Flyers game, and the first two periods of the Hawks game in the hotel bar.  Went up to my room to watch the third period.  Changed out of my work clothes and into the usual t-shirt and shorts.  Put on channel 25 which was Versus according to the guide.  It was headline news.  Called the front desk, “Hey where’s Versus”?  “Sorry sir, it’s no longer available in your room”.  Me:  “So let me ask you, you have it in the bar, but not in the rooms”?  Her,  very matter of factly, ” yes.  Me: “Don’t you think that’s a little odd”?  Her: “What”?  Me: “Bye”!

Ok, then I turn on the internet to watch on the computer.  No connection.  Hello front desk:  “What’s with the internet”? Front desk:  ” Sorry sir, someone cut a fibre-optic cable.  It’s going to be out for a while”.  Great!  I get redressed and go downstairs to finish the game.  In the bar.

All day Tuesday by the way, no internet connection.  Thanks.

Wednesday night.  We had a company paid dinner at a great Italian restaurant.  Thank you very much David…it was great. Next:  Hey gang we’re going to go have a few beverages who’s in?  Me!, I say, as long as there’s a T.V. I’m in.  We go to what was allegedly the oldest establishment in the U.S…. so we’re told.  Called “The Horse You Rode In On”.  Ok, great place.  But must have forgotten that there’s a new thing called cable TV, or satelite?  Kidding, but that’s how I felt.   I ask the female bartender:  “Excuse me, can you turn this TV on Versus”?  Bartender:  “What’s that”?  Me:  “Oh shit.  Um, it’s a sports channel.  I wanna watch a hockey game”.  Bartender:  “Who’s playing”?  Me:  “Does it matter?” Well finally after she found the remote, and installed new batteries, she put the Hawks game on, right before the puck drop.  (Slaps himself in forehead).

Ok, Hawks win, great game.  Meetings continue in the morning, so gettin’ up early could be a challenge.  Right?  Nope.  At exactly 6:24 A.M. the fire alarm goes off.  An announcement is made:  “Please stay where you are.  We will follow up shortly”.  About 30 minutes later we find out that fortunately it was a false alarm.  But hey, I had to get up early anyway right?

Thursday early evening time to leave to the airport for a 7:00 P.M. flight.  We are told it was $30.00 cab ride to the airport.  Flat rate.  We get in the cab, driver drops us off, and we’re ARE able to get out before paying him, and he says $45.00.  I said, “What? It’s $30 according to the hotel”.  He says, “You don’t have a voucher”.  I said, “Where did you pick us up from sunshine”?  He said, “The hotel”. “Well they didn’t give me voucher. but told me it was $30.00, and never mentioned that I needed a voucher”.   ” Ok, I’ll let it slide, you can give me $30.00″.  I did.  He says:  “Where’s my tip”?  I said:  “Tip? YOu wanna tip? The tip is, quit trying to screw your customers”!  By the way, I had to unload my own luggage cause he was on his cell phone.

So now at the airport I’m trying to find a gift for my daughter.  Pretty specific on what I want.  She collects hockey pucks.  So since I’m in Baltimore, which the last time I checked a map, it was really close to Washington D.C., where the Capitals play.  I figured it should be an easy task.  Not.  Every shop in the terminal had it’s share of Orioles souvenirs,  which she has plenty of, as do I.  Nothing at all about the Caps.  No shirts, no hats, no pucks.  I was in the Hudson News store which had some t-shirts etc of Baltimore and Washington, and University of Maryland.  So I asked the girl at the register: “Excuse me, do you have any Capitals’ souvenirs”?  I got that odd look and she said, “You mean the “America” store?  That’s down at the other end of the terminal”.  E-gad!  Sorry sweetie.  No puck!

And last but not least, on the plane the flight attendant is talking to the people in the exit row about their responsibilities.  One of the passengers isn’t getting it.  So the flight attendant says: “Do you speak English”?  Passenger says: “No”.

Another flight attendent comes to help, and says (loudly): “NO speak English”?  Same answer.  WTF.  Did you think that all of a sudden he would learn it cause you phrased it another way? And were yelling?

Ok, enough of my silly escapedes.  Just glad that I’m back home, can watch the game on my T.V., don’t have to worry about any false fire alarms, and certainly don’t need a cab, since I have my own car.

Moral of the story; read the title to this piece.

Guess Patrick Kane and I have something in common eh?

Thanks for reading.

Your comments are always welcomed and appreciated.