Replacing the Panthers’ Goal Song, Again

One of the Florida Panthers’ greatest seasons wrapped up last year, with more than a fair share of dramatic goals.  Many Panther fans will remember Jovanovski’s deflection versus the Blackhawks, Fleischmann’s empty netter against the Devils, and certainly Goc’s game-tyer in Game 7.

Those goals deserved a great soundtrack to couple with the ecstasy in the arena.  They needed music that fans could recognize just as easily as the goal horn.  Those goals needed a GOAL SONG.

The subject was presented last year around this time; with a franchise renovation in order, an identity needed to be established.  The brass picked “Na Na Na” by My Chemical Romance, and quite frankly the song’s success was small.  On paper, the song looked to have made sense: the song is from a relatively popular band, the lyrics were simple (na na na na na na na na na na na na), and it wasn’t taken by any other hockey team.  However, hearing it in an arena was a totally different thing.  The drumming overpowered the “nas” on the loudspeaker, the song was too fast to chant mockingly at the other team, and it never really established a foothold in the fanbase like “Chelsea Dagger” in Chiacgo, the benchmark for all goal songs to aspire towards.  It had its moment, but “Na Na Na” eventually would eventually lose ground to Gary Glitter‘s “Rock’n Roll Part 2“, the go-to for any goal scored anywhere ever.

Of course, this year needs a new, better goal song, one unheard by ears in any arena.  It needs to be original, simple, and a little bit annoying for the visitors.  I humbly offer my suggestions for next year’s Panthers’ goal song.  And don’t be afraid to tweet and email Michael Yormark if you agree…

1. “E-Pro” by Beck.  There’s nothing simpler than this song’s driving drum beat and easy chant.  The “nas” are slower than “Na Na Na”, so this song is easier to pick up in a loud arena and easier to chant mockingly.  It’s catchy too, and released recently enough that the kids might have heard it once or twice before.

2. “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin.  Few songs in rock and roll are as recognizable as this classic.  It comes in fast right away, with driving bass and drums and edgy guitar from the great Jimmy Page.  Add a falsetto Robert Plant and tis would make a great goal song.  If there is one drawback to this one, it’s that the song is tougher to chant than the other two on this list.  However, that hasn’t stopped many Zeppelin fans/Jack Black from trying to sing along.  It’s an easy favorite that could also double as an homage to South Florida’s high immigrant population, if one would like to make that connection.

3. “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora.  It’s gaudy.  It’s cheesy.  It’s silly.  It would be a great goal song.  I’ve proposed this time and time again, and I won’t give up on it.  Imagine, after scoring a go-ahead goal with a couple minutes left in the third, the scene inside the arena.  The Panthers are hugging, the crowd is screaming, and the other team is sad.  There is no purer torture than to have to skate back to the bench as 18,000 people scream Baltimora at you.  It can break a man.  Consider it’s chantibility, it’s catchiness, it’s capacity to annoy other people, and you have the best goal song imaginable.  Yormark and the Panthers should pick it up before another team does.

There you have it.  I’ve presented my three best picks to replace the Panthers’ goal song.  Now please take one of these: another year of Rock’n Roll Part 2 simply will not do.

Thanks for reading!  Be sure to comment to the best of your ability!

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