BEARDvolution: Different Strokes For Different Folks
By Frank Rekas
Florida Panther fans have not seen the playoffs for a decade and as the team approaches them now, they’re not quite sure what to do with them.
If you’ve watched any Florida Panther home games recently you probably have seen what could be called some annoying or creepy behavior going on during the intermission shows with Allison Williams or Frank Forte on Fox Sports. You know what I’m talking about, that weird beard guy who’s been standing in direct view behind Allison or Frank. Making those weird facial expressions, or disturbingly stroking his beard. You have been wondering why is he there, and why hasn’t someone done something about him? Here’s a couple examples of what I’m talking about:
Creepy……startling……disturbing….for sure. He has been haunting the broadcasts for the past several weeks, and gaining what appears to be a significant following.
Well at tonight’s game between the Florida Panthers and the Toronto Maple Leafs, members of the Rat Trick staff came out in full force to see what this dude was all about. As we put ourselves closer to the area where he normally hangs out, we didn’t see him right away, and as we looked for the white home Florida Panther sweater what did we see? Beard Boy was actually wearing a spider man mask! While he only had it on for a short period of time, we all said to each other, the guy is pretty creavtive……as well as potentially very disturbed. Or is he? You be the judge.
We were able to catch up with Beard Boy during the second intermission and he gave an EXCLUSIVE prepared statement to the RatTrick.com:
"“My name is Beardboy, also known as Weird Beard Guy. @WeirdBeardGuy on Twitter. It’s a movement, a playoff movement, it’s a playoff beard. We’re sending good vibes out to all the Panthers fans, who come to every game like me and who like to stroke…their beards. Because everyone knows that it’s healthy to maintain a healthy sheen on their beard. And part of beard maintenance is stroking it. The beard, I mean. And that’s what we do here at intermission.Want to give us your first name?Beard. Beard Boy. Again, if you want the playoffs to flow, you’ve got let the beard grow.When did the beard start?This beard is a prehistoric beard. It’s along the lines of evolutionary history from Karl Marx to Ulysses S. Grant to Abraham Lincoln to Chuck Norris and Sean Connery. This beard is strong. It is furtive and passive aggressive but again, it has one goal, to let the playoffs flow.Can you expand on the relation to Chuck Norris?Yes, Chuck Norris has a very strong beard. He was actually going to be cast in Spiderman but, his beard broke through the mask. So they had to cast someone else. My beard on the other hand, I like to moisturize two or three times as necessary but, that keeps it soft for Mrs.Beard Boy when we’re smooching.Spiderman earlier, was he an incarnation of the beard?Spiderman is a fan of Beard Boy. I can’t confirm nor deny whether I know who Spiderman is at this point but, I did see some suspicious looks from the Bank Atlantic Center staff and the Fox Sports Florida Staff.”"
The answers to our questions flowed smoothly, much like his closely trimmed beard. Is he on to something?
The Panthers have won their past three home games, which equates to approximately when the phenomenon began. Is it related? We’ll have to wait and see.
For the first time in a decade Florida Panther fans may get to grow playoff beards…..and who do we have to thank for that? Dale Tallon, Mike Santos, Brian Campbell….Beard Boy?
The world may never know…..
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