I knew that it wasn’t just me. And maybe the four people who read this site. It seems as though everyone is pounding their heads against the wall in an effort to think of content to write about this summer as the month of August appears to be taking a year to pass. Are we really this infantile that we can’t seem to cope without
our blankie hockey and feeling as though we’re going through some sort of drug or alcohol rehab stint? Not that I know about either of those but, it seems everyone I talk to doesn’t know what to do with themselves as they wait for the season to start.
The apparent drunken stupor seems to have hit the media as well. You know people who actually get paid for writing about this stuff! The folks over at NHL.com are so out of their minds and bored stiff that they decided to redraft the entire league. If you thought the new look Florida Panthers of this coming season are about to have a team chemistry issue, wait until you get a load of this roster. In an effort to induce some fun into the last days of August, I’ve decided to put together the lines as I see them, pair up the defence, and see what kind of lineup we’d have. Now while I was excited about putting the forward lines together, the site of the defensive pairings is giving me chest pains. Severe chest pains. When you see that unit of six tell me your confidence level isn’t a little low. Can you imagine this unit trying to hang on to a lead late in the game?. Although with Alex Ovechkin, and Marian Hossa skating on the first line for the Florida Panthers, I guess we shouldn’t be too concerned about playing defence right? But then again this is make believe.
The first two lines look pretty solid! I would be that a lot of teams would love to have those players as their top 6. This team is so loaded with centers, that David Kreci is forced to be on the checking line, which makes them offensively stronger. The fourth set of forwards is made up of all centers, and all very young players, but what the heck, it’s the fourth line. There is however no meat and potatoes on this roster. A couple players have some edge, but for the most part the grit and snarl that this writer enjoys is sadly missing. And that’s just the forwards.
When I tried to pair the defence, I couldn’t decide if this was the worst unit of six guys I had ever seen in my life, or if the players that manned the blue line for the Panthers in early part of 2000 were. Looking at this group made me appreciate Igor Ulanov even more. I miss his wife yelling at the other players from the lower bowl of the Bank Atlantic Center by the way. Definitely worth the price of admission as she echoed the frustrations of a wife who seemed to be saying to herself, “this till death do we part thing is truly being tested”.
As for goaltending, well it’s a crap shoot. Jonathan Bernier comes with a lot of promise, and Nikolai Khabibulin comes with old age and a personal chauffeur since his driver’s license is suspended due to his DUI. When I look at the players that were drafted, I almost want to say that Uncle Jack might have done a better job putting a roster together, and maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. But then I stopped sipping my Cognac and I realized that no…..this is significantly better.
The gang over at NHL.com had some fun with this and why not. When things are this dull and boring it’s good to let your mind wander and be creative. I still can’t get over that defence though. Each time I look at it I feel like throwing something. Dishes? I am Greek, and that is what we do.
I think we’d have ended up with a better unit if they had just put their picks on auto select.
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