Take A Bow For The New RedVolution

In case you haven’t noticed, there is a “RedVolution” in Sunrise.  A lot of things are moving around, some new players are coming in, and just about everything in town is being painted red.  And, as so usually happens during a normal “revolution”, the normal people start calling the shots.  This is what’s happening in the Florida Panthers’ Organization, as they have let anybody and everybody audition for or decide some of the new positions in the BankAtlantic Center.

Of course, I have some ideas of my own that I would like to see implemented.  I have the fan in mind, and I would like to experience the most enjoyable games possible with the highest-quality arena entertainment, just like every other Panther fan.  Hence, I have created my own picks for every category in the RedVolution, and I hope you agree with my vision.

Panthers’ Team Song – I can’t think for a song to represent the Panthers at all times, but I can think of a few songs for different scenarios.  If we’re on a winning streak, the team song could be “Hotter Than Hell” by KISS.  If we’re on a losing streak, it could be “Even the Losers” by Tom Petty.  If we’re getting blown out, our song could be “Whipping Post” by the Allman Brothers Band.  If we’re blowing somebody out, it could be anything; I won’t complain.

Panthers’ Goal Song – I can’t be more assertive about this.  It has to be “Jungle Boy” by Baltimora.  I know it’s a very ’80s song and it lacks musical depth, but it would be perfect for a goal song.  Imagine if a Panther scores a goal, and everybody in the BAC starts screaming like Tarzan.  It would be kitschy, loud, and annoying for visiting teams.  “Jungle Boy” is like the “Ole, Ole” goal song of the Montreal Canadiens with less enunciation.  Well, since they give me three choices, I also plugged a couple simple guitar riffs that would be pretty cool to hear after a goal: “Pop Song 89” by R.E.M. and “Ozone Baby” by Led Zeppelin.

Ice Dancers’ Name – How about The Cougars?  It would keep with the large cat theme with a team called the Florida Panthers.  Unfortunately, you would have to lay off all the current Ice Dancers and hire slightly older women.  There had to be a few cougars that tried out for the Ice Dancer auditions last week.  This promotion would appeal to people who are into that sort of thing.

P.A. Announcer – This is certainly a pipe dream, but maybe Bill St. James can come from Los Angeles and voice over Panther games.  He has the voice of God.  In case you haven’t heard him, he hosts the Flashback radio show, does the promos for the Showtime network, and voices the safety instructions for the Rock n’ Roller Coaster in Walt Disney World.  I’m sorry to be throwing out so much free advertising, but if you’ve heard him somewhere, and you would agree.  His velvety tones give me the chills.  Go to 6:20 0f this video for a sample.

D.J. – In this category, you can kill two birds with one stone!  Bill St. James is also a D.J!  He might not play any Miley Cyrus or Black Eyed Peas like the old DJ, but that’s a sacrifice we might have to make.

Anthem Singer – First of all, there was nothing wrong with our old anthem guy.  He sang both the Canadian and American anthems well, and he had a nice Italian accent.  I would try and hire him back, only if Enrico Pallazzo and Roseanne aren’t available.

Panthers’ Organist – I got stuck on this one, since I don’t know a ton of organists.  I actually didn’t know we got rid of the old organist, but I can’t say I was really listening for organ during the game.  I wonder if Keith Emerson is doing anything.

Energy Team Name – The JovoCops.  You might remember the Energy Team last year: they wore headbands and waved Panther flags.  Not that I’m saying that this is an inefficient way of pumping up the crowd, but wouldn’t you be so much more excited by a roving team of JovoCops?  They would dress up like the original RoboCop, walk around like robots, and say things in a mechanical voice like “You must stand up and cheer in the court of JovoCop.”  I never saw the movie, but I’m pretty sure RoboCop said things like that.

Be sure to comment on the bottom!

Also, before you exit out, be sure to follow me on Twitter, @ScottFMullin, along with the rest of the Rat Trick team!